Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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