dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Bring me that man meat
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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