This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
