she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
