dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
