I accidentally burped into my bong.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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