I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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