walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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