she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
