Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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