so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
How naked do you want me to be?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
