She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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