im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
