thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
