he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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