he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
