So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
