My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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