What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
