it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
