i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
