Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
