we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
