Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
