Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
