I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
