Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
His nipple licking is glorious
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