I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
