So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
