I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
