oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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