I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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