your thong is hanging out like whoa
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
