I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
