my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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