yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
