At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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