Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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