just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize