that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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