Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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