im having a threesome with these popsicles
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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