Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
