oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There's always time for handjobs
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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