Too much gin, very little bucket
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
