My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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