Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
