East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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