He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
