Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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